Sex for women and men

sex for women:

two days before date with lover-to-be: skip breakfast. remove all evidence of hair on legs, armpits, labia, around anus, inside nose, moustache, toes, arms; wherever there’s a follicle, uproot its produce. with the exception of the follicles on your head of course. those follicles are okay, massage them, oil them, style their produce. go to the salon and get a blow-out. wear hoodie even if it’s a sunny day so hair doesn’t curl in the slightest. spend the rest of the day shopping. buy a sexy outfit, or two in case you change your mind. and purchase shoes, a girl can never have enough shoes. go home and do 1000 sit-ups. clean and scrub every corner of your house. when your neighbour is not looking, sweep away dirt in front of their door too. skip dinner. try on different colour sets of underwear. take a selfie. one day before date with lover-to-be: skip breakfast. do an extra hour in gym working only on glutes. read online articles about what men find attractive. read your horoscope and take it literally. if horoscope says you are about to meet love of your life, maybe see a tarot reader for further clarification. get a manicure and pedicure in same colour as underwear you plan to wear. do sheet masks, eye masks, foot masks, décolletage masks and scrub rest of body. get beauty sleep. on the day of date with lover-to-be: skip breakfast. do 15, 000 000 kegels. if for some reason you’re not able to do that many, stuff your vagina with three ben wa balls. sorry, wa? don’t worry, just use anything with weights, plum- or crystal stones maybe. pamper your pussy, wash and powder her until she is soft like a baby’s bottom. rub scented oils all over body. get dressed. take a selfie. dab perfume where you want to be kissed. polish teeth with express whitener. during date with lover-to be: laugh a lot, even if date is talking about the stock market or the war in Syria. make sure you laugh deeply and heartily, to give a semblance of happiness. be impressed with anything he says that could be interpreted as feminist. yes, even that thing about how he once made a female colleague a cup of tea deserves admiration. be especially impressed when he talks about how much he respects all the strong women in his family. don’t be too intimidating and talk about trivial achievements like your phd in the philosophy of computer science. tell him you like his eyes and mean it. eat, finally (!), but little. order a cocktail and get tipsy. talk about yourself in third person, say “she might like that”, when asked if you would like to have one more drink somewhere else. don’t be yourself. be coquettish and seductive. pout lips, squint eyes and flick hair, as you read in the online article – it signals approval. during sex with lover-that-now-is-finally-happening (yay!): shyly bring out condom. say no to oral sex (“because the dick is enough to drive you wild”). softly say “ooh-oouch” when he enters you. tell him to be careful because “he’s so big” or “you’re so tight” or equivalent. touch yourself narcissistically. stroke your waist, grab your ass like dough, twerk it, wriggle, wreath. if you can – lick your nipples. don’t forget to moan – aim for the sound of a loud television, somewhere around 70 decibel. ask for your pussy to be fucked. say “spank me, papi”. perform whatever move that is closest to acrobatics that you can muster but *(this is important)* clench your asshole so you don’t fart. whatever you do, don’t fart. make reassuring comments of the type “oh, amazing”, “that’s perfect” “right there”. be bossy too, say “stronger” “harder” but never “softer” or “gentler”. [fake] orgasm after three minutes, five minutes max. say and feel “mmm.”

sex for men:

on the day of date with lover-to-be: watch porn before date so if you get lucky you don’t cum too soon. quick shower. meet date. go to date’s house. have sex. say “i’m about to cum”. bust, too soon.

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BLOGROLL: Ava DuVernay Pays Tribute To Michelle Obama’s Slave Ancestor | HuffPost

HuffPost Black Voices reports:

“Ava DuVernay shared a powerful photo on Twitter Saturday morning — honoring the progress African-Americans have made throughout the history of the United States.

“Become your ancestor’s wildest dream,” the “Selma” director tweeted, attaching a photo of a memorial that pays tribute to one of former first lady Michelle Obama’s ancestors, Melvinia Shields, who was a slave.

“She was born a slave in South Carolina in 1844,” the memorial inscription reads. Obama was born in 1964, 120 years after her great-great-great-grandmother.

Shields is buried elsewhere in Georgia, but the memorial stands in Rex, a community outside of Atlanta, where she worked as a slave on a farm, a struggle referenced on the memorial.

“At age 6 she was brought to the nearby Shields farm in what is now Rex, Clayton County, Georgia,” states the inscription on the memorial, which was dedicated in 2014, according to The Rome News-Tribune.

“Her family would endure a five-generation journey that began in oppression and would lead her descendent to become first lady of the United States of America, Michelle Obama,” the inscription continues. “Theirs is a story of hope.””

Read the rest:

[Editor’s Note: “Become your ancestor’s wildest dream” is also a reference to a phrase New Orleans artist B. Mike Odums uses often in his work: “I am my ancestor’s wildest dream.” For more:]

Filed under: See Tags Tagged: #adphd, african american, art, blogroll, history, memory, slavery, united states

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BOOK: Hine on Black Women and American History

Darlene Clark Hine, Hine Sight: Black Women and the Re-Construction of American History. Indiana University Press, 1994.

via Indiana U Press:

“The history of African American women has become an important topic in the intellectual life of this country in the last fifteen years; and Darlene Clark Hine has been one of those most responsible for bringing the subject to its current level of importance.” —from the Foreword by John Hope Franklin

“In this absolutely needed collection of essays by one of the leading American historians of our generation, the richly intertwined community-making and self-making that shaped the historical experience of African American women shines out like a beacon.” —Susan M. Reverby, Luella LaMer Associate Professor for Women’s Studies, Wellesley College

Darlene Clark Hine is a leading historian of the African American experience who helped found the field of black women’s history and has been one of its most prolific scholars. A past-president of the Organization of American Historians and the Southern Historical Association and the winner of numerous honors and awards, she is the Board of Trustees Professor of African American Studies and History at Northwestern. Her numerous publications includeThe African-American Odyssey, Black Victory: The Rise and Fall of the White Primary in Texas, Black Women in White: Racial Conflict and Cooperation in the Nursing Profession, 1890-1950, The Harvard Guide to American History, Hine Sight: Black Women and the Re-Construction of American History, More Than Chattel: Black Women and Slavery in the Americas, A Question of Manhood: A Reader in U.S. Black Men’s History and Masculinity, A Shining Thread of Hope: The History of Black Women in America, Speak Truth to Power: Black Professional Class in United States History, and “We Specialize in the Wholly Impossible”: A Reader in Black Women’s History. She has been awarded fellowships and grants by the American Council of Learned Societies, the Center for Advanced Study in the Behavioral Sciences, the Ford Foundation, the National Endowment for the Humanities, the National Humanities Center, the Radcliffe Institute for Advanced Study, and the Rockefeller Foundation.

Source: Hine Sight

Filed under: Darlene Clark Hine Tagged: african american, book, gender, history, slavery, united states, women

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